I am Lost👀

My name is Sandra, a recent graduate of medicine from one of the elite universities in the country. I am married for 5 yrs and with a kid. My husband is Kofi, a lecture at the same university but in a different faculty. Kofi has been a cheat even before marriage. I even caught him 4 nights before our marriage ceremony in bed; shagging another woman. Well, I didn’t want to cause a scene so, I just allowed it to go without speaking a word about it till date but, the cheating never ended there. He became very engrossed in extramarital infidelity even through my pregnancy with our kid whilst I was in school. It was a mockery on campus as most of my colleagues and his, knew the obvious; with family and friends always telling me to stay strong and keep praying. About a year and a half ago, I placed a call to a “service helpline” and was met with a gentle warm response. This man helped me with my need, and went further to express his worry over how he sensed sorrow within my voice. Wow!@# that for me was amazing, someone could notice on phone?… when my husband of 4yrs can’t even tell when I sick or in pain. We spoke further then, he sent me his personal contacts to get in touch anytime I needed someone to talk to, and it all began there. I announced this friendship to my husband but, he didn’t care. I spoke more with this “comforting voice” till his line of conversation became intimate. It was more like a “Mate poaching.” Being a married woman, I decided to kick against it while using it to try and get my husband back so, I told him, and even showed him with photos of the penis; this man had been forwarding to me via WhatsApp chat. I begged him to stop the man from harassing me and give me the needed attention by treating me as his wife. You won’t believe his reply!?#@= Kofi told me to enjoy it. I was in shock, my husband doesn’t seem to be inlove with me. “This marriage had hit rock bottom”, I thought to myself. Weeks later this man was demanding to see me in person, and I had begun to enjoy the relationship that seem to be developing on phone. I therefore told him when I will be free, and all he had to do was to journey from his city to mine. This was also at a time when I had moved to a hostel on campus with my child due to the constant shagging of girls by my husband on our matrimonial bed. It made it easy then to have this “comforting voice” come to see me in person. I am a married woman and wouldn’t want to be seen affectionate with another man out so, I invited him straight into my room at the hostel. He was dreamy and better looking than his photos. I was hot all over with sweaty palms and a burning desire for his touch but hey! I am married and had to behave; even though I hadn’t been touched intimately by a man in years. With all that I could do to restrain myself from being all over him, we still ended up making love and that was my best ever; my first orgasm:( Weeks onward, my “comforting one” had an offer to travel abroad on a work related course which meant, less time on his hands for me but I wasn’t bothered. After a while, he happened to find himself in trouble out there and disappeared. The strangest thing then started to happen in my home. Kofi started being a husband and a father; strange but, I still love my husband and was enjoying it. All seem to be getting better day after day and, this was all I had prayed for for years. We even renewed our vows. Three weeks from that splendor, my “comforting man” gave me an unexpected call that, he was back in the country and wanted to see me. Things had not gone as he wished yet he took solace in the hope that, he had me to always be there for him. He had a big demand for money which I found for him; even had to borrow from friends to keep this away from my husband. He wasn’t satisfied with just money and wanted me. I refused, and his reaction was to send all our previous chats to my mother and siblings through facebook. Woe%#!@# my family thinks I am some infidelity creep or, they do understand my actions because of what I had endured from Kofi? I wondered constantly. A week later, he was again demanding a huge sum of money which I don’t have, and wants regular weekend extramarital sex escapades or, he forwards those chats to my husband and informs him of the sexual intercourse we had. I can’t give in to any of his demands. I am lost, please what do I do/where do I go? I feel like ending my life. It’s too much for me.

“Loneliness is the devil’s playground of despair and darkness.”

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